


Show Your Secret

by DontGetTooCloseItsDarkInside



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Trans Kageyama, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-03-02 23:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2829665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontGetTooCloseItsDarkInside/pseuds/DontGetTooCloseItsDarkInside
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama finally decides to tell Hinata..or rather, show him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Show Your Secret

**Author's Note:**

> I got a request on Tumblr for trans Kageyama and decided to put it up here

Kageyama wasn’t really sure when it had started. All he knew was that one day he woke up-and he realized the most horrible thing he thought one could ever think to realize had happened. Somehow, over time and plenty of volleyball he had developed feelings for Hinata. Hinata. Of all the guys in the world he could have ended up liking.

 

Of course, even after he realized this, he did not immediately accept it. He was on the fine line of denial for quite some time. 

 

At first, he told himself he simply admired Hinata's body. This had happened before. He thought he liked a guy; only too eventually realize he wasn’t admiring them per say, as he was admiring their perfect male physique with jealousy. This stage of assistance hadn’t lasted very long-because Hinata wasn’t very manly at all. 

 

And then, once his former idea didn’t really make sense, he told himself it was lust. Hinata was cute-and he knew there were at least a few girls who had crushes on him, so he wasn’t completely undesirable. He knew he liked it when Hinata smiled and he liked the flex of his legs muscles before he jumped and the way his arm swung out to hit the balls he had set for him. He was attracted to him, and the very uncomfortable dreams he had had once or twice definitely confirmed that. So once he told himself it was lust and had come up with enough reasons as to why it was just that, he allowed himself to look and daydream a bit, sure that it would eventually go away and things would go back to normal. 

 

 

But then he was reminded of the feelings. Feelings that didn’t come with lust, feelings of jealousy and possessiveness and okay, yes, slight depression when Hinata smiled and beamed at the few girls who would come around to speak to him during brakes. 

 

After he (finally) admitted it to himself, he had laid face down on his bed and screamed softly for about a half hour. He was just thankful neither of his parents were home for that brief breakdown as reality came crashing down around him. Because he wasn’t admiring Hinata’s body, he was not lusting after him, he did not even have a little crush on him, he was just pure, all the way crazy in love with him and it was horrible. 

 

That was about a month after they had met each other again in the gym of Karasuno, and now here they were a few months later and the feelings were still fricking there. Currently, they were at a training camp and they had a match with Nekoma on their last day.

 

Training camps were always horrible for Kageyama, he loved training and playing with his teammates, but showing and bedtime were awful. He had to shower after the third years, second years, and even the first years, just so he could do it alone, and that wouldn’t be so bad, but everyone always asked him uncomfortable questions or asked Ukai and Takeda-sensei questions about why he was allowed to shower alone. 

 

He was very embarrassed when he realized that Takeda-along with all his other teachers, were aware of…his situation. For about a week he had avoided Takeda because he just felt so awkward being around him and always thought he was looking, even though he knew he wouldn’t ever. It was the same feeling he got around anyone who knew, except his parents…and Suga. But the vice-captain finding out was a story for another time. 

 

Takeda and Ukai had asked him to stay behind after volleyball practice one day, much to his horror, and the three of them had a long talk about acceptance and reassurance and accommodations when they went to training camps and he had his…’special time’ as his mother had taken to calling it. He left the gym blushing red –but the talk had come in handy. 

 

After his shower he dressed in a dark shirt, sweater and his binder. It was another trouble of going to training camps, he would have to sit and wait for everyone to fall asleep so he could take it off and then wake up before everyone else to put it back on. 

 

Hinata slept next to him. After a long day of jumping and spiking the small redhead was exhausted and fell asleep just a few moments after lying down. He made soft noises in his sleep-ones Kageyama really liked listening to and kept his attention so he wouldn’t fall asleep before anyone else. Little, weak snores that sometimes ended in a whiny whistle, incoherent mumbling that was low and husky, and random words laced together with grunts and groans. 

“mmmm-I can jumppp-ahh –snore-“

“The idiot isn’t even quiet when he sleeps.” He heard Tsukishima say in disbelief somewhere off to his right. 

A giggle pierced the air. “Nice.”

“I’m trying to sleep.”

“Sorry Tsukki.”

Silence fell across the room, thankfully, because if it hadn’t Daichi would have woken up and started screaming at them. 

Kageyama watched Hinata sleep to keep himself busy for the next twenty minutes. He liked to think that what he was doing really wasn’t weird, because there was nothing else to do. When he was sure everyone was asleep, he got up and sneaked across the room with the stealth of a Nekoma student. He tiptoed down the hall and into the bathroom, were he made quick but quiet work of taking off his sweatshirt and t-shirt and then putting it back on once his binder was off. 

He zipped his sweater up to his throat and slipped out of the bathroom-and muffled a scream.

“Kageyama,” Hinata said, blinking at him. “What are you doing out of bed?” Rather than being awake he looked like he was sleep walking, his eyes were mostly closed and his head was drooping to the side a little.

Kageyama had curled up his binder the best he could and shoved it behind his back within a blink of an eye, Hinata didn’t seem to find anything strange about that, nor when he covered his chest with his other arm as casually as he could. He thanked god that the redhead was half asleep and his vision was blurry. 

“What do you think, stupid?” Kageyama bit out, trying not to appear nervous. “I was using the bathroom.” 

Hinata mumbled something and rubbed at his eye. “Come back to bed, then,” he whined. “The hallway is cold.”

“I never asked you to come looking for me.” Kageyama grumbled. 

Hinata mumbled something again and led the way back, he collapsed down as soon as they returned and Kageyama was thankful for it, it gave him the perfect opportunity to hide his binder in his bag and then zip it shut as softly as he could. 

He laid down and tried to get himself to sleep, but he couldn’t help thinking about how close that had been.

Maybe he should just tell him already.

……

For the rest of camp, until the last day, Kageyama thought about it and thought about it-about telling Hinata the truth. And he thought about what Hinata would most likely say when he told him. He worried himself sick and lost sleep that he needed because he was thinking so much, but he couldn’t stop. 

And let him tell you, being up threw an entire night was not fun, especially when he ended up hearing things from his teammates. Things that weren’t cute at all and from people who certainly weren’t Hinata. Tanaka moaned in his sleep and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi liked to wake up in the middle of the night and talk about their feelings. 

The only bright side was that he had serious black mail on them. Tanaka, apparently found other people in the gym attractive besides Kiyoko, specifically Ennoshita, and Tsukishima liked to be sung too.

He finally found his nerve on the last day of camp, right before their practice match against Nekoma. Hinata was about to walk into the gym when Kageyama grabbed him by the wrist. 

“Kageyama,” Hinata whined, attempting to take his hand back. “I know what to do, alright? You don’t have to retell me before every game.”

“It’s not about volleyball,” Kageyama said, watching Hinata’s eyes widen in surprise because okay well that was a first. 

“I have to tell you something.” Kageyama said, and then pulled Hinata away to the nearest bathroom before Daichi could come out and yell at them and force them into the gym. He slammed the door shut behind them.

“Well,” Hinata prompted after they had stood in silence for a full minute. Daichi was probably already hunting them and tarring doors down. “What is it?”

Kageyama stared at him. He didn’t know how to say it, how to phrase it, tell him in a way that he would understand without completely making a fool of himself. ‘So, even surprising himself, he grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head, his arms and the shirt falling to his sides. 

He couldn’t look at Hinata, he was too afraid of how he would react. He looked at the floor and gave them both a moment. 

“Oh.” He heard Hinata say finally.

Kageyama put his shirt back on; he opened his mouth to respond right when the bathroom door was pulled open,

“WHAT ARE BOTH OF YOU DOING IN THERE? GET ON THE COURT RIGHT NOW!” Daichi screamed as soon as he saw them packed into the close space together. They both rushed out, mumbling apologizes as they went. Hinata didn’t say anything about what he had just seen, and because Daichi was behind them fuming Kageyama didn’t bring it up. He didn’t look any different-if anything, Hinata just looked anxious to get to the game. 

Kageyama couldn’t concentrate. All he could think about was Hinata and how he reacted and what did it mean. ‘Did ‘Oh’ mean any specific thing? Was he surprised? Well he would have had to be, no one really expected those kind of things without reason, would they? Was it a noise of disgust? Would Hinata ever talk to him ever again? He didn’t think he could bear the thought of that. 

He was messing up the court. He knew that, but he couldn’t get himself to stop thinking, to calm down and deal with it later. With him messing up, the entire team messed up, he was their setter and they couldn’t spike without him throwing it the right way, he was a good blocker, without him paying attention the other team was making the ball fall even with Noya’s wonderful receives. 

He could hear Tsukishima making smart comments on his performance and Suga’s mumbles of concern from the sidelines, but all the noise sounded like it was reaching his ears threw a long, thin tunnel.

At some point threw the second part, Kageyama saw more than felt Hinata take his arm and before he knew it he was standing outside the gym in the hall and Hinata was looking up at him seriously.

“Kageyama,” Hinata said sternly, arms crossed over his chest. “What’s your problem?”

Kageyama opened his mouth and then closed it like he had before.

“Kageyama,” Hinata said, and his heart did a little tap dance that made his skin crawl in a way that wasn’t good or bad, but some bizarre place in-between. “Look, you need to start paying attention to the game.”

“I know.” He said.

Hinata looked at him. “Are you worried, mm? Are you thinking about what you showed me earlier?”

Kageyama hated that he couldn’t bring himself to verbally answer, he just gritted his teeth and nodded.

Hinata’s head cocked and he smiled a bit. He leaned up on his toes and grabbed Kageyama’s face. “Don’t worry about it.” Hinata told him. “I like you for exactly who you are, Kageyama-kun, my grouchy King.” 

Kageyama’s heart seemed to had lodged itself in his throat. Hinata stroked his face once, his fingers were small but rough and warm, they felt nice against his cheek, which was very soft, too soft for his liking really, but Hinata seemed to like the feeling of it, because he stroked his cheek again before lowering his hands. “Now come on, idiot, stop thinking too much and lets play!” 

Kageyama allowed Hinata to pull him along, feeling really good about himself, for the first time in a while.

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAGEYAMA, MY KING


End file.
